You Don’t Have to Smile Right Now
for everyone who was told to “just be grateful”
They say,
smile through the pain.
And I tried.
I really tried.
Till my cheeks hurt more than my chest.
“Don’t be so negative,”
they say—
as if naming the darkness
somehow made it darker.
As if sadness were a stain
and silence would bleach it clean.
I was drowning,
but they handed me glitter.
“Think happy thoughts,”
they said,
as if my body were a Pinterest board
and not a battleground.
I learned early—
cry quietly.
Don’t make people uncomfortable.
If you must be sad,
make it brief,
and smile right after
to prove you’re still worth keeping around.
But let me ask you—
Who decided that joy
was more holy than grief?
Who sold us this idea
that to be positive
is to be whole?
Because the world is burning,
people are tired,
bills are rising,
and you want me to
manifest good vibes?
I’m sorry.
No.
Not today.
I don’t want your pastel-colored affirmations
pasted over real cracks.
I don’t want to “choose peace”
if it means denying my truth.
Some days
the only honest thing I can say
is that I’m not okay.
And that has to be enough.
You don’t tell someone bleeding out
to visualize clotting.
You don’t tell someone in a storm
to think sunshine thoughts.
You sit with them.
You shelter them.
You say,
“This is hard.”
You say,
“I see you.”
You say nothing,
but you stay.
So why can’t we do that
with sadness?
Why do we fear
our own reflection
when it frowns back?
There is no growth
without rot.
No spring
without cold.
You can’t keep skipping
to the part of the movie
where everything is resolved.
Some scenes need
to play out
in real time.
Sometimes,
you need to scream.
Sometimes,
you need to cancel plans.
Sometimes,
you need to lie on the floor
and feel the weight of everything
you’ve been pretending
doesn’t exist.
Because here’s the thing:
negativity
isn’t the enemy.
It’s the signal.
It’s the check engine light
on the soul.
And no matter how hard
you try to ignore it,
it won’t go away
until you stop
and look under the hood.
I’m not saying
live in your pain.
I’m saying
visit it when it knocks.
Give it tea.
Let it speak.
Then,
when it’s ready,
let it leave.
Healing isn’t linear.
It’s not a steady climb.
It’s messy.
Cyclical.
Exhausting.
But it’s real.
And I want real
more than I want
“good vibes only.”
So to anyone listening—
to the one holding in tears
because someone told you
they’re “too much,”
to the one exhausted
from pretending that every day
is a gift,
to the one who’s tired
of being someone else’s inspiration
when they just want to rest—
you don’t have to smile right now.
You don’t have to fake light
to be loved.
Let your darkness speak.
You are not less
for being honest.
You are not broken
for being tired.
You are not weak
for needing time.
You’re human.
And that is enough.